Happy Monday All!
Because it’s Christmas Eve, I wanted to share one of my favorite versions of Clement Moore’s ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas! Check it out below:
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the gym, no iron was pumping, no treadmills were running.
The dumbbells were racked by the mirrors with care, in hopes that gains would soon be there. The lifters were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of protein bars danced in their heads.
And the trainer in his hoodie, and I in my cap, had just settled down for a membership recap.
When out in the parking lot, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the front desk to see what was the matter. Away to the door I ran like a sprinter, pushing it open and welcomed by the cold air of winter.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer. With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Dasher! now Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen! On, COMET! on CUPID! on DONNER and BLITZEN! To the gym we go, no time for the mall. Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
So, up to the gym-lot the coursers they flew, with a sleigh full of supplements, and St. Nicholas, too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the pavement, the sleigh landed–Luckily, the lot was vacant. As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, through the door St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He wore fur from head to foot and a heart monitor, testing his cardiac output. He removed the bundle of pre-workout flung on his back, looking like a sales associate just opening his pack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
He held a shaker tight in his teeth, and his belt encircled his belly like a wreath. He wore an ugly sweater and approached the squat rack quickly. His belt didn’t bulge, even when he squatted 950!
He was stalky and broad, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself. A push on the bench and a pull on his dead, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but focused on building. He totaled 2,400 after weightlifting! Running his arm across his forehead, he left protein powders and bars and walked out with his face kind of red.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard his exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!”
Merry Christmas Everyone!